


Pirate’s Bounty

by samwhambam



Series: The Rose-Brewer Guide to Sex Positions [3]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, M/M, Porn, Tender Sex, but mentioned very very briefly, similar to the others, slight choking on the dick, tender introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-06
Packaged: 2020-11-01 23:30:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samwhambam/pseuds/samwhambam
Summary: Patrick takes David out to dinner and David plans a night of debauchery.





	Pirate’s Bounty

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hi welcome and please enjoy! I wrote most of this at 2 am so hope it’s decent!

“Open,” David said as he speared off a corner of the chocolate cake in front of him, gathering an extra bit of fudge frosting. Patrick just raised an eyebrow at him and let his bottom jaw drop, watching David’s face as David fed him. With the fork on Patrick’s tongue, David just rolled his eyes at him. “Close your mouth, you insufferable man.”

Patrick smirked around the utensil, eyes fluttering closed as David pulled out the fork.

“Delicious, right?” David asked him and Patrick nodded. He opened his eyes and David had another forkful at his lips. “Have another bite.”

Patrick accepted it and David couldn’t tear his eyes away from Patrick’s throat as he swallowed. He ditched the fork, swiping a finger through the frosting. 

“You’re feeling very generous tonight,” Patrick commented, but David’s fudge covered finger was at his lips. He took David’s fingertip into his mouth and sucked at the frosting, running his tongue over David’s skin. 

“You did plan a wonderful, beautiful night for us. The least I can do is share this cake with you,” David said, pulling his finger from Patrick’s mouth with a  _ pop!  _

“It is a very delicious cake,” Patrick countered back and David took a bite for himself. 

“Do you have something planned for us after this?” David asked and Patrick shook his head. 

He took a sip of his stout, licking a thin stripe of foam off his top lip. 

“I figured I’d see where the night took us. We could look at the list when we get home,” Patrick shrugged as he sunk back into his chair.

David just nodded, his lips tucked into his teeth. He wanted to smile at his sheepish husband. His husband who did the dirtiest things in bed, but acted shy when asking for what he wanted.

“Okay, that’s perfect, because there are a couple of things I want to do to you tonight,” David said. “And they’re on the list.”

Patrick perked at that. He leaned forward, interested and David just held another bite of cake up to him. 

“Are you going to tell me what it is?” Patrick asked after he swallowed and David just smirked in response. 

“Magic 8 ball says ‘ask again later’,” David replied. “Finish your beer. Order another if you’d like. We have all night.”

*

David drove them home, the stereo turned low and the fingers of his right hand trailed along Patrick’s jean-clad thigh. The movements were soft and even and without turning his head, David knew Patrick was staring at him with wide eyes.

He knew those eyes and all the expressions they made. He knew that when he teased Patrick softly and slowly, those brown eyes turned honey with blown pupils and it was like he forgot that he needed to blink. Those eyes had started when David initiated a casual game of footsies under the table, then shifted into mischievous as David fed him bites of dessert. That previous look came back once David was leading him by the hand out of the restaurant.

And now David’s hand shifted to cover Patrick’s left hand, fingertips tapping at Patrick’s wedding band. There was another shift in Patrick’s eyes, David was sure of it, just a hint more love than longing. Just like they normally got whenever they were presented with a shred of evidence that they were  _ married.  _

“Do you wanna know what I’m thinking for tonight?” David asked because he was sure that the curiosity was taking apart his take-charge man. 

“I always want to know what you’re thinking,” Patrick chimed and David did tear his eyes away from the road. How could he not?

His breath hitched at that  _ fucking  _ look in his eyes. Too full of love that David was still learning he deserved. 

“But I want to be surprised tonight,” Patrick continued and David looked back to the road, his hand tangling in Patrick’s, the other effortlessly turning the wheel through the country roads. “I want to do what you want to do, David. Especially tonight.”

David’s grip tightened on the steering wheel and he knew they were at a fork in the road in the conversation. He could return the sentiment, provide a sappy comment that would cause Patrick’s million dollar smile. Or he could go with something silly that would make Patrick laugh.

“Well, I wanna be balls deep in you, so,” David said, wincing at his own words, because they didn’t come out how he wanted them to. 

There was a beat of silence and then Patrick was squeezing his hand. 

“Down my throat or in my ass?” Patrick bat back and technically, David counted that as a change up.

David just groaned, pushing his head back into the headrest.

“Both?” David responded. It was definitely going to be both. 

“I can’t wait,” Patrick said and he lifted their conjoined hands to press a kiss against the back of David’s hand. 

Patrick reached for the phone David had abandoned in the center console and David shot him a scathing look before he could change the song. Patrick just shared a sheepish grin and David shook his head, grateful for the misfortunes in life that had led him to that moment. 

When they got home, David walked close behind Patrick up the walkway and up to their apartment. He pushed lightly at Patrick’s lower back as they passed through their door, snagging Patrick’s keys from the doorknob before closing it. 

“Okay, David,” Patrick said as he slipped off his jacket. He hung it on the coat rack as David passed by him. “Where would you like me?”

David just hummed as he pulled two wine glasses from their bar cart. 

“Take a seat on the couch, get comfortable,” David motioned to the couch with a flourish. He plucked a bottle of red off of the counter, popping the cork and filling their glasses. 

When he turned towards Patrick, he leaned against the counter, just taking in the sight of his husband sitting on the couch, wearing his undershirt and boxer briefs. 

“You told me to get comfortable and I know you have very unshakeable opinions on jeans on the couch when relaxing,” Patrick said with a half grin that David knew he was responsible for, Patrick had picked up many of his mannerisms over the years, and unfortunately, some of Alexis’ too. 

Patrick knew he stole the words right out of David’s mouth, answering his question before he could ask. That was another thing Patrick had learned and developed over the years. He knew David like the back of his hand and David loved it. Loved that Patrick could predict him, knew him. He always feared that a relationship like this would be annoying. He hated when people acted like they knew him. But he guesses, that’s the difference between an act and actually knowing. 

David handed Patrick his glass as he sat down, folding his legs so they were partially draped on Patrick’s legs and he immediately snaked his arm around Patrick’s shoulders. 

“Cheers,” David said as he tapped the lip of his glass against Patrick’s and the ‘ _ ding’  _ reverberated through the still air of the apartment. 

David watched Patrick over the edge of his glass as they both took sips.

“Are you going to put on music?” Patrick asked and David just smiled and lifted his arm to tap an index finger against his own temple. 

“I’m still curating the perfect playlist in my head,” David responded and Patrick laughed as he squeezed one of David’s knees. 

“I think you’re just trying to drag out the moment, let the tension build and set the mood,” Patrick said.

“Well, I did moodboard tonight and no you can’t see it.”

David shifted and pulled his phone out of his pocket. With a few taps, that Patrick had shown him how to do multiple times, music was playing over the speakers David had expertly set up for optimal listening. 

“Solange. Is tonight a night of tender love making?” Patrick asked as he let his head fall back onto the couch. 

“You’ll see. Now, drink up, honey,” David said as he tapped Patrick’s glass. 

Patrick tipped back his glass, drinking it all in a steady gulp and David felt like he was being set on fire. There was a drop of wine in the corner of Patrick’s mouth and David wiped at it with a shaky finger, bringing it up to his own mouth. He licked it and Patrick’s grip tightened on his knee. 

David drank his own helping slower, taking a moment to appreciate the heaviness of the wine in his mouth. Patrick watched him and David grabbed the hand on his knee, bringing it up to his throat as he drank. Patrick stretched his fingers against David’s skin, fingers moving with the motions of David’s throat. 

Patrick leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to the side of David’s neck. David finished his glass quickly and he had to push against Patrick so he could reach the coffee table. But soon his glass was abandoned and he pulled Patrick up by the jaw and kissed his stained lips. 

David dug his fingertips into Patrick’s shoulder as he shuddered against the sweet taste of the wine on Patrick. He could feel Patrick pushing at him and he knew Patrick wanted him laying back on the couch, but David pushed back and shifted and swung his leg over Patrick’s lap so he was straddling him. 

Patrick sighed into the kiss as he settled into his seat and David relaxed, letting Patrick’s thighs take his full weight. He licked against Patrick’s bottom lip and his mouth fell open dutifully. Patrick’s tongue met his and teased it into his own mouth and sucked on it, tasting the full effect of the wine on Patrick’s tongue. 

“You taste so good,” David said as he pulled back. Patrick was blushing, his cheeks tinged a sweet pink and David was struck by the image of pouring red wine over Patrick’s naked body. The sticky taste of wine would be present with each lick and nip and kiss over Patrick’s body and that pale skin would be tinted the same pink as his cheeks. And it would be  _ delicious.  _

Patrick kissed him, his hands on David’s waist and he pulled him closer and David shifted up so he was on his knees. He loved this, looming over his boyfriend, reveling in the height difference. He tilted Patrick’s head back as the kiss slowly turned messy and desperate. 

It often happened like this. They would tease each other, take the time to rile the other up, but then there’d be that shift and they both couldn’t hold back anymore. It was a long stretch of a rubber band, the long pull before it slipped through fingertips and  _ snapped  _ back into place. 

David bit at Patrick’s bottom lip and pulled gently as he moved back and Patrick clung to him, his fingertips digging into David’s skin to try to keep him close. When David let go, he pulled his sweater over his head, dropping it onto the couch next to them. 

Patrick’s hands were instantly on his undershirt and he tugged at it before David could kiss him again. 

“Off,” Patrick said as he pulled the end up and there was just enough time for David to raise his arms so he wouldn’t get trapped in the fabric. Patrick dropped the shirt behind them, off the back of the couch and David’s hands wrapped back around Patrick’s jaw. 

David dipped his head for another kiss and Patrick whimpered as he stretched to meet him. David smirked as he licked back into Patrick’s mouth. He knew that Patrick loved their height difference, loved swooping up into David, and with David on his lap, it was exaggerated and Patrick loved it even more. 

He tilted Patrick’s head just a touch more, so it was slightly uncomfortable and Patrick sighed as his hands slid up from where they were perched on the swell of David’s jean covered ass, and stroked up David’s exposed back. They were teasing at the edge of David’s shoulder blades when David deepened the kiss, opening his mouth more to Patrick.

It was desperate and David whined when Patrick did that  _ thing  _ with his mouth. That  _ thing  _ where it was all tongue and spit and sloppy but so delicate and planned and clean. It was a move that worked on any part of his body and if he was in a decent state of mind, he’d finally ask where Patrick picked that up from. 

He pulled back from the kiss, his breathing heavy.

“I want to fuck you,” David panted as he rolled his hips down onto Patrick. 

“Yeah?” Patrick asked and how he still managed to look so put together, even though David could feel him straining against him, David didn’t know. 

“Gonna fuck you so good tonight,” David repeated. He lifted his hips so he could snake a hand into Patrick’s boxers. “Gonna spread those legs so pretty.”

There was this insatiable need in David when it came to Patrick. He couldn’t get enough teasing, touches, kisses, attention. Anything. Ever. Tonight he needed to take care of Patrick. He wanted to give Patrick everything he needed. He wanted to fill Patrick so deep with pleasure that Patrick was crawling out of his skin. 

“Anything,” Patrick whispered as David kissed him again.

“You feel so good,” David said as he wrapped a hand around Patrick’s hard cock. 

Patrick bucked against him and David swallowed his moan with another dirty kiss. 

“So hard for me.”

Patrick’s head fell back and a moan rattled out of his chest as David stroked him, his thumb grazing over the exposed head of Patrick’s cock and along the edge of his foreskin. 

David let go of Patrick’s cock and slid off the couch.

“No, no, no,” Patrick whined with wide eyes. “Come back.”

David just shook his head as he stood up tall. 

“Get on the bed,” David said and Patrick moaned, his eyes fluttered closed as he palmed at the front of his shorts. 

“You don’t want me here?” Patrick asked and David smiled at that snippy mouth as Patrick patted at the couch. 

David moved away and walked the short distance to the foot of the bed. 

“You can stay there, but I’m going to be over here,” David teased. He twisted at the button on his pants and turned away from Patrick as he slipped his pants and boxer briefs down. “But I’m going to be over here, naked.”

Patrick just whimpered as David climbed onto the bed and David felt  _ powerful.  _ He hadn’t even laid down yet and the bed was dipping from Patrick sliding up next to him. David pulled at his own, hard cock and Patrick was groaning next to him and he knew he had Patrick in the palm of his hand, ready to eat whatever David gave him. 

“Baby,” Patrick gasped as he touched David’s side and David grabbed his wrist before he could lay his hand flat on David’s skin. 

David pushed and Patrick moved easily, his bones already putty under David’s hands and he loved him like this, so pliable and easy to move. Patrick’s cheeks and the top of his chest was still that lovely pink color and David pressed his fingers into it as he shifted onto his knees. The skin around his fingers turned white and he grabbed his cock with his free hand. 

“Open, Patrick,” David whispered and he sighed as he sank himself into Patrick’s open mouth. 

Patrick moaned around him as he tongued at the underside of David’s cock. He reached up and cupped David’s balls, his fingertips ghosting over the skin. 

Patrick’s mouth was warm and wet and always so willing. David held himself steady and Patrick sucked him, curling up so he could give himself leverage as he bobbed on David’s cock, sucking as he pulled off completely. He ran his tongue over his favorite spots on David; the large vein that ran along the underside, the smaller vein that only popped out for the length of an inch, the ridge of the head of his cock, his slit. And if he ducked far enough, he could tongue past David’s balls and lap at his perineum. 

“Patrick,” David groaned as Patrick took him deep, opening his throat to him. His knees slid out an inch as his body sagged with pleasure as Patrick’s throat convulsed around him and Patrick had to pull off to breathe deeply. His hand tugged at David’s cock and his cheeks were red now and his eyes were glassy and unfocused, like David’s cock in his mouth had knocked the coherence out of him. 

His mouth was back on David’s cock, hand firm around the base and David cursed. He placed a hand on the wall for balance and the other kept jumping from Patrick’s sternum to David's own hair. On Patrick the touch was light, but in his hair, his grip was tight, keeping him grounded in reality. 

Patrick’s mouth was going to be the death of him, but he didn’t want to go any other way. 

“I need to fuck you,” David cried out. He pulled his cock from Patrick’s mouth and groaned as Patrick chased his cock, mouth open and lips puffy, like he needed it and maybe he did. 

David’s hand wrapped around Patrick’s hard, neglected, heavy, pink, leaking cock and the moan that tore its way out of Patrick shook David. He bent his head, resting it on his bicep, his nails scratching at the wall, looking for purchase. 

“David!” Patrick called out as David jacked Patrick faster. His hands had curled around David’s thighs and Patrick was holding him so tightly. His blunt fingernails were so deep into David’s flesh, he gasped out in pain and immediately sprung into action. 

He pulled out a bottle of lube from the bedside table. It was almost empty, but there were two more bottles in the bathroom and they’d have enough in this bottle for tonight. David hoped. He had barely moved back and Patrick was back to clawing at him. 

“Need you,” Patrick said. His voice was coated in desperation and David moved quickly. Because he felt it too. 

He slicked up his fingers and Patrick immediately planted his feet on the bed, knees fallen open and David settled into the space between them. He moaned as David pushed a finger into him. 

“Grab the headboard, baby,” David prompted him and Patrick did immediately. 

David worked the finger in him and stretched him as well as he could with just the one. 

“You look so beautiful when you take my fingers like this,” David praised as he pulled it out. He pressed back in with two and Patrick whimpered as he slowly opened for them. 

“You feel so good,” Patrick's voice was high and reedy and he licked his lips, his throat moved as he wet his mouth and David reached up with his other hand. His fingers prodded at the seam of Patrick’s lips and they opened eagerly for him. 

He moaned around David’s fingers, tongue pressing between them, slicking them up. David worked a third finger into Patrick’s ass as spit began to dribble out of the corner of Patrick’s mouth. 

“I need to get you a gag,” David breathed. The image of Patrick’s mouth being held open by a ring gag made David’s mouth water. It’d be open so pretty for him with a clear shot of Patrick’s tongue and David’s fingers slid out of Patrick’s mouth. He scooped up some of the saliva that had dribbled down Patrick’s chin and he pressed it back into Patrick’s mouth. Patrick moaned as he sucked the fingers back into his mouth, but he cried out when David crooked his fingers in Patrick’s ass to stroke at his prostate. 

“Please, David,” Patrick begged. 

“Please to the gag or please to this,” David said as he pressed harder against that spot. Patrick cried out again, his eyes screwed shut. 

“Both!” Patrick exclaimed and David was so proud of his ability to remain cool, calm and collected while Patrick lost it. 

“I’m gonna fuck you now,” David said as he pulled both sets of fingers from Patrick. 

Patrick whimpered at the loss. His hole clenched at the air in a desperate attempt to stuff something back into itself. 

David drizzled a line of lube onto his cock and before he capped the bottle for the final time, he dropped a few drops onto Patrick’s cock. Patrick hissed at the sensation and David kneeled as he pulled one of Patrick’s legs around his waist, Patrick’s foot hooking behind David’s ass. 

The other David pulled and hitched onto his shoulder and before Patrick could make a comment, he pushed his cock slowly into Patrick’s hole and Patrick let out a long  _ ‘fuck yes’  _ that had David grinning. 

Patrick was so tight around him, so warm and David sighed as he pushed in all the way. Their hips met and Patrick panted, sweat shiny on his forehead and he was biting at his dry lips. 

“Move, please.”

David moaned as he began to fuck Patrick. He turned his head into Patrick’s ankle and bit at the soft skin and Patrick gasped as he pressed his foot harder into David’s shoulder and met David thrust for thrust. The angle was perfect and the thick head of David’s cock was dragging against Patrick’s prostate they had barely just started but it was all too much. For both of them. The angle was perfect for Patrick and Patrick’s ass was always perfect for David. So tight and hot and  _ Patrick.  _

“Touch yourself,” David begged and Patrick did. 

He pulled wildly at his own cock while David fucked into him faster. David fucked him hard and fast and deep and each gasp and moan that he fucked out of Patrick was short and loud, like each thrust was cutting Patrick off before he could finish making a noise. 

David loved it. Loved fucking Patrick until he couldn’t say anything. Loved leaving him breathless and sweaty and covered in come. His hands were slipping along Patrick’s thighs and hips and Patrick’s forearm flexed as he held on tightly to the metal bars with his left hand. The veins in his arm were popping and David dug his fingers into Patrick’s skin and fucking went for it. 

The headboard banged against the wall and Patrick cried out as his knuckles smashed between the metal and the wall. 

“DON’T STOP,” Patrick begged and Patrick’s hand let go of the headboard and instead twisted into the pillow underneath his head. The one on his cock was pulling hard and quick, in no rhythm whatsoever and David wanted to laugh, his joy was bubbling to the surface but he also really needed to come. 

He opened his eyes and David gasped as Patrick made eye contact. 

“You’re so beautiful,” David cried out. His balls were tightening and he was so close. “Make yourself come.”

He angled his hips just how he knew Patrick liked it and Patrick screamed as David pounded into his prostate over and over again and he exploded over his fist, streams of come spurted onto his chest and David moaned loud and long. 

David buried his face into Patrick’s ankle as he came. David shook through his orgasm, knees twitching against the sheets as he struggled to keep himself up. 

“Patric. Patrick. Patrick.” David repeated as the aftershocks subsided and he couldn’t help but think that he was the luckiest man on earth. 

He pressed a soft kiss against Patrick’s ankle before he guided his leg back down to the bed. 

Patrick cringed as he stretched his leg out. 

“Should start doing yoga,” Patrick muttered and David laughed as he slowly pulled out of Patrick’s ass. 

“Talk to Twyla” he said and Patrick just shook his head and laughed. 

“Pirate’s bounty.”

“Yeah,” David confirmed as he leaned forward to kiss Patrick. 

Patrick’s lips moved slowly against Davids, too fucked out to try, but there was the right amount of appreciation in it. 

David pushed himself off of the bed. When he stood he stretched his arms above his head as he shook out his legs. He went to the bathroom and came back with a cloth. He cleaned Patrick and himself up before climbing back onto the bed next to Patrick. 

“You know,” Patrick yawned against the side of David’s head as David burrowed his face against Patrick’s neck. He placed a soft kiss there and he could fee Patrick smiling against him. “You missed the opportunity for some pirate and sea maiden roleplaying.”

David just froze against him and held his breath because  _ no.  _

“I can be Orlando Bloom and you can be Keira Knightley,” Patrick teased. “Or!! I can be Captain Jack Sparrow and you can the the black pearl reincarnate.”

David gagged, his whole body convulsing at the idea. 

“I want a divorce.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Position is Pirate’s Bounty! [here’s a link and it is nsfw so be prepared to see lots of dicks](https://gaysexpositions.guide/pirates-bounty/) !
> 
> You can harass me on tumblr [here](https://samwhambam.tumblr.com/) !


End file.
